Many individuals who are dating and growing closer together learn more and more about the other person. Habits (good and bad) likes, dislikes, and traits all make themselves known at some point in the relationship.
Before getting married, many individuals choose to seek counseling. This can help answer questions about whether they are doing the right thing, religious reasons, etc. Some couples choose to continue this counseling into marriage to further strengthen the relationship.
Couples may consider seeking financial counseling before marriage as well. Many couples can be reluctant to talk about money or worse, think that the money problems will solve themselves once the marriage starts.
Issues such as debt, poor credit, spending habits (both extreme frugality and frivolous spending) are just some of the many items that should be discussed before entering marriage. They are also good discussion points if they are occurring during marriage.
As many readers know, one of the biggest stressors on marriage is finances. By getting financial matters out in the open, discussed earlier on can help both partners understand how they tick financially. This may lead to a better, smoother relationship both emotionally and financially.
Some individuals need to be prepared for some difficult conversations, and potentially, the relationship to end. However, it may be better for the relationship to end before marriage, then to deal with the emotional and financial fallout from divorce.
Couples that are currently married may also consider financial counseling. This is especially important if there are disagreements that cannot be resolved, or if the couple (one or both) feels resentment starting to build.
And if there’s nothing wrong? Consider going anyway. Why? It’s no different than maintaining your car, house, etc. Nothing may be wrong, but we still maintain and take care of the things that are important to us. Finances in marriage should be no different.
There are several books designed to help couples in need. Also, taking to a qualified professional may be beneficial (not a product pusher). Couples may not know what questions to ask, but a professional may pose questions not thought of, designed to open the lines of communication between a couple.
Good luck!
Sterling Raskie, MSFS, CFP®, ChFC®
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